When it comes to finding a work/life balance I seem to constantly wobble. I'm sure everyone has those days/weeks/months when you feel like you're living in a black hole. This black hole was called Hallward Library. It was 'deadline doomsday' folks!
My life slowly began to revolve around three 3000 word essays; hanging over my head like a black cloud and slowly turning me into a hermit.
The black cloud period wasn't great. The storm came and really hit hard. Panic Attacks, Stomach cramps and an inability to stop crying wasn't how I wanted to spend the majority of my November. It was a tough month, not going to lie. To feel like you are literally going crazy is one of the scariest things i have ever experienced...
To come out of the darkness and into the light
knowing you cant make it one more night
Drowning in tears unable to breathe
Strangled by the pressure you can't seem to releive
Want to seal off the world and hide away
Not wanting to live the rest of today
But try again tomorrow when the day is new
It will be outside the window that is cold and blue
Be surrounded by love, remember who you are
The days and night end morning is never far.
With my thermos flask filled with liquid misery (i.e. highly caffeinated coffee) Hallward became my home, my family became the Starbucks staff and my brain slowly dissolved into a History mush made up of Atomic Diplomacy, 18th Century town life and Medieval Agriculture.
'The Cage', as it was lovingly termed, perfectly summed up the feeling that you're locked up until your sentence reaches its end. That end was 5th December.
Cue a beeline of the SU bar and a bottle of Rose followed by too many strawberry cocktails and lost memories of a history social (only to be revived when the gut wrenching notification comes up on facebook that you have been 'tagged').
I would just like to publicly thank the most amazing friends that were always on hand to cheer me up, give me hugs and empathize.I can honestly say I wouldn't be here without them and I cannot thank them enough! (you know who you are!).
Once the hangover cleared so did the dark cloud.
Welcome back to Uni life!
Peace and Love x