Thursday, 19 September 2013

End of an Era

So the summer is coming to an end and as ever its been full of work (experience and paid), rest (not enough) and play (maybe too much..... nah never enough play). But after all the fun and frolics there has been a serious side.

I'm going into the final year of my undergrad degree (duh duh duhhhh) so the panic of OH HOLY HELL WHERE IS MY LIFE GOING?, WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE!?, WHEN IS THE LOAN COMING THROUGH!!!??? has been racing through my mind. Along side this I have been trying to nip the annoying gremlin that is ED in the bud.

1) Where is my life going?
Its going forward, the only way it can go. I am forever making mistakes and learning from them, worrying about mistakes and re-living them, but at the end of the day they are in the past and there is absolutely sod all one can do about it. My life is going forward, there isn't a specific direction but that's okay. How boring is walking in a straight line! think about it, if you're forever going straight you never get to explore the wiggly, wobbly bits (and how much more fun is that to say?) WIBBLY WOBBLY heehee.... i digress.

2) What have I done with my life?
Turns out quite a lot. I was born (no mean feat especially for my mum god bless her). I have survived 20 years (just about) and, lets be honest, I got through pre-school, school, collage and University (almost), I learnt to drive, learnt to drink and learnt to avoid doing both together. I have made friends that I never would have met if I hadn't have been me (and god knows where they would be without me.... yes Steph Thomas you would still be passed out in Hula ;)). While there are days where I feel aimless and useless you do really need to just take a step back and give yourself a major pat on the back for even making it this far!! WELL DONE YOU!
Maybe drinking cocktails that are on fire isn't the best idea to keep the survival trend going... ah well YOLO!!

3) When is the loan coming through?
End of this week, I only have myself to blame but clothes and wine need me..... they do.... honest.

Finally, both good and bad events come in threes so here are 3 good things that happened this summer...
1) I have officially been discharged from the Eating Disorders clinic 2 years and 3 months after the initial diagnosis. I have never been prouder of my body and more thankful to my family and friends. Now a healthy 54Kg and 20.1BMI I can keep moving forward. (see point 1.)


2) I have somehow managed to get a boyfriend, god knows how that happened!!! Hes not a psychopath, arse-hole or arrogant prick.... who knew they existed?! Hes actually pretty darn nice (feel free to hate me and my smugness.... i do).

3)  I got 10 stitches in my leg... now I realize at first this doesn't seem like a good thing, but it taught me three things; (YES three things again, come on its just a nice way to organize shit!)
1. I can now call myself a 'proper runner' and be morbidly proud of the blood on my trainers,
2. My body is amazing, its healing itself and it makes me so thankful that we're working as a team again (i am really sorry body, I did treat you like shit but you are an utter babe really <3 nbsp="" p="">3. You can still work short skirts and bare legs with a scar with the leg cross/ HEY LOOK AT MY AWESOME SCAR techniques.
 Note the good leg crossed over the bad....  and standing next to a friend who is a banging hottie!! love you Rae Rae <3 p="">

So i'm off to go and pack up my life again and head back to Robin Hood country for the best year yet with my girls armed with new experiences, new self belief and new clothes.... (WHEN IS THE LOAN COMING THROUGH!!!???)

Peace and Love x

1 comment:

  1. Emily, this is lovely. I've just read it and it made me more happy than I was before I read it, which is all it needs to do. Thanks :) xxx

    Matt (that kid who did that one history module with you last year)